The Feel-Think-Do Link

Managing your emotions can be tough sometimes. Teenagers have stress, peer pressure, hormones, and parental expectations to deal with. Sometimes it takes a lot of self-awareness and self-control to handle all of your different feelings and act appropriately.

There are skills, that you can develop, that will help you with controlling your emotions and making a planned reaction to what initially triggered it.

First – Self-awareness (FEEL)
This means that you notice what you’re feeling and thinking, and why. Little kids aren’t very good at this – they just act out how they feel, such as having a tantrum when they’re mad. But you have the experience and mental capabilities to be self-aware. When your emotions feel like they’re out of control, take a minute to reflect on what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way.

Second – Self-control (THINK)
This means thinking before you act. It gives you a few minutes between those very strong emotions and any impulsive actions that you might take and regret later. By putting self-awareness and self-control together, you’ll give yourself the tools to make better choices on how to act when you’re feeling strong emotions.

Third – Planned Action. (DO)
Now that you’ve been able to slow it down a bit and look at your feelings and the reasoning behind them, you can plan your action. Think about all of the different ways you could respond to what caused you to get so emotional. What are the consequences of your different options? What will they mean to others and you in the long run. Can you think of other alternatives that would be more positive?

Next time you get extremely angry, jealous, or hurt – follow the Feel-Think-Do steps. By following these simple steps, you can save yourself from the dangers that impulsive responses often bring and make your actions more productive for yourself and everyone involved.