Friends can struggle with many tough issues: health troubles, eating disorders, drug addiction, depression and firesetting behaviors. 

Should you approach your friend to see what’s bothering them? 

What can you do to help?

This is a tough situation, but it’s important that you do what is best for your friend. So take a deep breath and remember that you have their best interests at heart.

Is there a true problem?
Make sure that your friend is really going through a tough time, and not just in a bad mood. 
Have you noticed major changes in their behavior?
Have other people seen the same things you have, or have any ideas what the problem might be?

Tell them you’re concerned.
If you really think that there is a problem, think about how you can tell them that you’re concerned. Be genuine. They may ask you why you think there’s a problem. A good statement might be, “I’m really concerned about you, you’ve been acting different than usual lately. I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it, or if I could be of help.”

Be ready for denial.
Your friend might react badly, so be prepared. They might deny that there is a problem, get defensive or embarrassed. They might try to convince you that everything is normal.

Tell them you’re there for them.
It’s possible that your friend might not want to admit, or talk about their problem. Don’t push, but remind them that you care for them and are there to talk when they’re ready.

Check back in.
Be observant about your friend’s behavior. After a few days, remind them that you’re there if they want to talk. They might think they’ll risk your friendship if they tell you. Remind them that you’ll be there for them even if the problem is serious.

Listen.
When your friend is ready to share their concerns, listen carefully to their problem.
Ask how the problem started, how they are handling it, and how you can help.
If it’s something bigger than you can handle, encourage them to talk to a counselor or other adult they trust. Offer to go with them to give them confidence.

What to do if it gets worse?
If your friend doesn’t want to confide in you, and the situation is getting worse, you may need to ask a teacher, parent, counselor, or other trusted adult for help.

Remember, if your friend threatens to hurt himself or someone else, you must call 911 or speak immediately to a support agency like a juvenile firesetter intervention program specialist. At the very least tell an adult right away.

Remember, being there for your friend to listen and support them is the absolute best thing you can do for them!